8.30.10 — Bagels and Cake

Our boss brought in bagels, cream cheese and a plate of apples for a coworker's 5th anniversary here at the agency. I did eat some of the apple slices. The communal cream cheese, not so much.



It was a cake decorated to look like a stack of pancakes, but had lemon flavor goo inbetween the cake layers. Ah, the humanity.

Total weight loss = 186.5

8.27.10 — Chocolate Carnage

The remnants of some Specialties cookies, much like the remains of a wildebeast after the lions, hyenas and then buzzards have had a go. Not much left but the odd chocolate chunk, crumbs and cookie bits.

Total weight loss = 185

8.25.10 — Garlic Bread

Hmmm, it's been awhile since anything has magically appeared in the kitchen. I think my coworkers are getting wise to my game. This pitiful offering almost isn't worth my notice. Let's face it, they've thrown cupcakes, donuts, pizza, sandwichs and all manner of other tasty treats at me and I've shrugged them off with nary an activated saliva gland. Slices of garlic bread. I'm almost insulted.

Current weight loss = 185

8.17.10 — Cheese Loaves

If the sight of 8 bricks of thick, heavy, tasty Tillamook cheese doesn't make your colon just go ahead and seize up in defeat, you don't fully understand the power of cheese. Me and my colon will remain unbound tonight.

Current weight loss = 179

8.11.10 — Summer Party

We had our annual summer party at work today and took in a Mariners' game. I thought it would be foodaggedon, but it really wasn't. They had plenty of fruit and as long as I dumped the buns and kept to the mustard, a couple hot dogs and a boca burger worked out fine. So yeah, I did eat some things today... just not the potato salad. It looked crunchy. I can't do crunchy potato salad.



I'm starting to think I have more food-related achilles' heels than I thought. First it was just french fries. I LOVE ME SOME FRIES. Then it was ice cream. Now I'm thinking chips have to be on that list. Who doesn't like chips and something creamy and slightly onion flavored to dip them in? Damn chips.



Ah beer. Nothing like taking in lots of empty calories and only getting a gut and "honey, why did your coworkers leave you on the lawn again" questions from your wife in return.



And like manna from heaven, eventually the giant cookies and brownies appeared. The cookies were your basic lot, but the brownies... ooooh, they looked all moist and chocolatety. And yes, sometimes using the word moist can be a positive thing. Sometimes moist is good. Sooooo good. Of course I'm guessing here. They could have been solid as a rock. Yep, they probably sucked. I'll just keep telling myself that.

Current weight loss = 179

8.10.10 — Gluten-free, then Pizza

Someone brought in this gluten-free treat for a coworker who decided to share. I'm going totally gluten, banana and chocolate chip free.

Zeek's pizza (8 total) for an internal staff meeting. I wasn't part of the meeting, but our custom is to open up leftovers to the whole agency after the meetingoers get their fill. I, of course, love the canadian bacon and pineapple. I didn't give in.

Current weight loss = 176

8.6.10 — Mystery Danishes

Like so many of the food items that make their way into out kitchen, this box of danishes just kind of magically appeared. Client meeting leftovers? Someone who is trying to be nice to us, like a vendor looking for work? A coworker who had an itch for a danish on the way to work and decided to buy not-quite-enough for the rest of the office? Or perhaps we have pastry elves who want us to be good and fat when they come bursting out of the ceiling to attack, subdue and then eat us live? Fucking elves. The knife is a dead giveaway.

Current weight loss = 176