3.14 — Bad Moon Rising

Jo Jo went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and all we got was this box of banana "flavored" Moon Pies.

So you're not from the South, like me, and don't know what a Moon Pie is? It's a secessionist, Northern War of Aggression-grudge holding, Lynard Skynard lighter-waving, rebel flag draped over the gun rack in the back window driving, glorified s'more.

That's right. The vaunted Moon Pie is a graham cracker (heavy on the Cracker) smothered chocolate (or in this case, banana "flavoring") and marshmellow. Ooooooh, you Southerners. Way to come up with an original snack. Take a s'more, flatten it, make the packaging all nostalgic and then name it something that makes normal people (mostly me) think of slow-witted country folk plunking on a banjo and hoping for some pig squealing later.

Ok, I'll admit. That was kind of prejudiced against people who play the banjo. It is a noble instrument, if not intensely annoying. I apologize to all the banjo players out there.

Anyway, this one didn't yank my chain really at all — not a fan of marshmellow. Or s'mores. Or flat, redneck s'mores.

3.9 — What is Going On?

Is today some sort of Bring Food to Work Day or something? After stretches of time lately with nothing showing up in our end of the building, all the sudden we're being deluged by snacks and free food.

This was a collection of pastries brought in by a freelance photographer who was here to show off his portfolio. The pastries were made by the guy's wife, who just happens to be a pastry chef.

I didn't dare touch any of this stuff, but stood there while others took bites of this and that and proceeded to have near-religious and/or full-body experiences because what they were tasting was so good. I had to leave because I actually started to waver a bit. I immediately went back to my desk and ate an apple. And then I ate another one, just to be safe.

3.9 — Afternoon Sugar Rush

We have a freelance Photoshop guy in this week and he decided to give our row a little afternoon energy boost by delivering this bite-sized (or is that fun-sized?) bounty in our aisle.

We of course told him we couldn't be bought, even as my coworkers were ripping open bags and popping chocolates into their gobs. As soon as the sound of the crinkling bags echoed off the wall, Judy (aka Snackasaurus) showed up to investigate. That sound is like the anguished cry of a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti to a hungry lioness for the Snackasaurus. She can't resist.

I can, did and will have to continue resisting since the bags of candy are sitting about 5 feet away from me.

3.9 — Fat Tuesday Leftovers

Some left a big tupperwear container of jumbalaya in the kitchen with a post-it note that it was Mardi Gras leftovers. I had already eaten lunch (a tasty spinach, tomato, cucumber salad with seasoned chicken slices, and a sugar-free chocolate pudding pack on the side), so I didn't even blink at the rice, beans and sausages. It might have tempted me more if I had been hungry, but as good as rice might be for you it can be carb and calorie hell. This looked like just that kind of trouble.

3.9 — Two Bites and Some Fancy

I don't know who the makers of these cupcakes are kidding, but these St. Paddy's day-themed mini cakes don't even register as bite-sized. Maybe "Two Bites" refers to what it would take to eat the entire contents of the package.



Frango's and Dilettante's, two Seattle chocolate originals. I'm not sure about the history behind it, but there is a strong chocolate-making community here in Seattle. There are several home grown companies that pump out gourmet chocolates and candies. Maybe there really is something in the water here that inspires entrepreneurial world domination. We got your coffee, aircraft, delivery services (UPS got it's start here — didn't know that, did you) and gourmet chocolates. There is Frango's, Dilettante's, Seattle Chocolates, Theo's, Fran's, Simply Seattle and a host of others who are trying to spread their cocoa confections across the country.

Enough exposition. Back to the resistance.

Fancy chocolates, I rebuke you!

3.8 — Now this is what I'm talking about!

YEAH! Now that's a worthy opponent. 2 donuts, slathered with thick icing and covered in mini M&Ms and Captain Crunch with Crunchberries cereal.

Just look at those things. Good God, what kind of sick mind looks at a donut and thinks, "Not sugary enough," then spackles on a thick layer of icing, steps back, considers, then decides, "Not only does this donut need more, it needs an unspeakable level of more."

A coworker who tried a piece summed it up best when he said, "It looks like a cereal box threw up on a donut."

I offered to test his blood sugar before and after eating a piece of the Captain Crunch option, but he declined. There is some information you really don't want to know.

I have to admit that the audacity of these donuts made me want to try a piece just to see how it tasted... and to see if my heart rate would jump 10-20 beats a second from the sugar rush.

It's been awhile since I've been this excited about not eating something. To whomever it was that brought in these abominations, thank you.



OF course, it wasn't too long before the old standard showed up, more Top Pot donuts. They look kinda plain, lame and week compared to the monstrosities above, don't you think?

3.7 — Tub o' Cookies

A random tub of store bought cookies. Judging by the variety, I'm thinking someone had a few packages of cookies with a couple cookies left in each. Throw them all in an old butter container and voilá, Tub o' Cookies.

Temptation meter: Not even flickering.