10.24.10 — Fuck You Chocolate

What better way to celebrate the day that I break the 200 lbs. lost milestone (actually down by 201) than to go to a gathering of people selling, tasting, exhibiting and otherwise basking in the warm, dark glow of everything chocolate? Odd choice, you say? Perfect choice, I say.



Chocolate is my bitch. I own chocolate's ass and have left it on the corner, turning tricks to make ends meet.

I not only don't need chocolate any longer, I don't even really want it. I was able to walk around this little expo and take photos like I was looking at displays in a museum. I wasn't tempted even once and was able to keep a fairly objective, detached mindset about everything in front of me.

I purposefully went into the lion's den, kicked the lion in the balls and said, "Fuck you, Lion."

So yeah, fuck you chocolate. What else you got?

(and yes, this was not a work-related food incident and not technically eligible for this blog, but I figure it was a special occasion)

10.22.10 — Jolly, My Ass

Talk about a name that is not much more than a couple random nouns jammed together that have nothing to do with what the actual product is: Jolly Rancher. What the hell is a jolly rancher? Some old dude standing in a cow-pie covered field with a stupid smile on his face holding a government check paying him thousands to not grow crops in one hand while he pounds a big sign into the ground with the other hand that says something brilliant about cutting deficits and stopping the welfare state. Go Tea Party!

Fuck the jolly ranchers out there and fuck this stick-to-your-teeth, too hard to chew and too slimy to sit there, over-sugared diabetic coma in a small plastic wrapper.

10.21.10 — Meager Offerings

Or to be specific, offer: this sad little leftover piece of danish. It's not always piles of french fries, acres of pizza or baskets of weird international candy. Sometimes, the hardest things to resist are the lonely little bites that would be so easy to just grab and pop in your mouth as you walk past. Think about how easy it would be to just slam that half danish in your mouth. A couple of chews and it's gone. So easy.

But then that'd be the easiest and emptiest couple hundred calories I would have had in a long time. Sure, I'll admit to pausing for a second and entertaining the thought of just downing it, but only for a second. It's not worth it. Even if I weren't closing in on my weight loss goal (might be hitting a huge milestone this weekend), it wouldn't be worth it. And therein lies the battle I have every day, most of the time several times a day — is it worth it or not?

10.19.10 — Pizza and the Dirty Bird

Pizza again for an agency meeting. Only problem was that this was a meeting I actually wanted to go to, but ended up working through lunch trying not to get any salad bits on my keyboard as I ate while hammering away at project uploads. At least I didn't have to face the pizza directly in the face for the meeting. With as much pizza that has been flying around here lately, my resolve has been weakening. A man can only take so much.

Actually, I can take it. I'm getting very close to a weight loss milestone and I'm not going to let limp, greasy pizza to deter me.





Same goes for the Dirty Bird, aka Red Robin. It was another late night for us and the consensus order was the Dirty Bird. I can mostly easily pass on pretty much anything they offer even when I'm not trying to resist bad food. Their only real selling point is amount — when you're hungry you know you'll get a lot of food, even if it all tastes the same and is horribly bad for you. The only thing that tweaks my temptation meter are the french fries — not so much because their fries are anything to rave about. They do have size and if you order in you can get the free refills. THAT is a dangerous option when I'm around. As for the sauce tubs above, I have no idea was is in them other than some evil sort of mayonnaise hybrid, but it is very tasty... the last time I had it.

Tonight, nope. I waited until I got home and had my calorie and portion-size appropriate dinner.

10.15.10 — And So It Begins

I've been dreading this day - the beginning of the Halloween treat smorgasbord. It will start slowly, in this case with some extra cupcakes someone brought in from a batch they made for their kid or some other thing that doesn't impact my life, and pick up speed as we get closer to the end of the month. Then there will be an explosion of treats and candy culminating in the big day. We'll probably be having a party at the office and then the wife and I will be fending off the neighborhood ankle rats all night long.

And then we're into the official "holiday season" which means food flowing like water through this place. It's going to be a rough couple months.

10.14.10 — Cocktail Thursday

Our team needed a break, so we had a some drinks at the end of the day and listened to some good drunk stories. It was fun, but I stayed dry. No need to mess up a good week by drinking a lot of empty calories.

10.13.10 — Pizza, Again

Sigh. Another agency meeting means another giant stack of Zeek's Pizzas. It's always more visually interesting after the masses have picked over the helpless pies rather than taking photos of the pristine and unsuspecting pizzas before the attack.

This was a tough one. Yes, I've faced down pizza on many occasions and stood fast again today. But, it was so hard today. I was so hungry and it was all set up just a few feet from my desk and it all smelled so good. I was thinking I could just take a bite. Just a small, slow, sensual bite (take a moment, wait for it... continue). But one of the biggest things I've learned about myself over the last four years as I worked on losing weight is that a small bite becomes a small piece, which becomes a small slice, which becomes a small pizza, which becomes how much can I eat before anyone notices (the secret is to not take more than one piece of any one kind at a time and then to move around the room so that the same person doesn't see that you've gone back to the trough for a fourth or fifth time).

So no, I didn't have a small bite. I sat there in the meeting, eating my salad, ignoring everyone else as much as possible... and hating them just a little.