Talk about a name that is not much more than a couple random nouns jammed together that have nothing to do with what the actual product is: Jolly Rancher. What the hell is a jolly rancher? Some old dude standing in a cow-pie covered field with a stupid smile on his face holding a government check paying him thousands to not grow crops in one hand while he pounds a big sign into the ground with the other hand that says something brilliant about cutting deficits and stopping the welfare state. Go Tea Party!
Fuck the jolly ranchers out there and fuck this stick-to-your-teeth, too hard to chew and too slimy to sit there, over-sugared diabetic coma in a small plastic wrapper.
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