If having an ass load of fried chicken and all the fixin's wasn't bad enough today, the agency held a little party for one of our coworkers who is very pregnant (dilated at 3cm and holding — yes, her dilation amount has been announced over the agency intercom). What do you feed a woman who is about to pop any second?
Dick's, of course.
I think there were many implied jokes. Dick's taste good in your mouth, everyone craves some Dick's every once in awhile, who can say no to a pile of Dick's, she's pregnant so we already know she likes Dick's... really, this stuff writes itself.
For me, this was as hard or harder (yes, I know, going for the low hanging fruit there) to resist than Reuben Tuesday. I'm unafraid to say I love Dick's. I used to gobble up Dick's whenever I could. I'd get 2 Dick's, a couple fries and a chocolate shake - throw in a couple tartars for good measure - and then race home to eat it all. You have to be quick with Dick's because if the fries get cold then you're left with a limp lump of flaccid potato-shaped grease. It was also usually a good idea to not look to closely at the ever-growing grease stain on the bag. But, I can tell you, grease or not, Dick's do indeed taste good in your mouth.
Dick's shakes — any flavor you want so long as it's chocolate, strawberry or vanilla.
You thought I was kidding about the grease stains. Look at those puppies. The burgers aren't wet. It wasn't raining while they were being brought into the building from the car. They weren't accidentally dropped in the sink. No, all that "wetness" is pure grease. Yummy.
Oh, and just for the sake of full disclosure, my "normal" Dick's order came to just about 2100 calories — about what I eat in a day now.
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