3.8 — Now this is what I'm talking about!

YEAH! Now that's a worthy opponent. 2 donuts, slathered with thick icing and covered in mini M&Ms and Captain Crunch with Crunchberries cereal.

Just look at those things. Good God, what kind of sick mind looks at a donut and thinks, "Not sugary enough," then spackles on a thick layer of icing, steps back, considers, then decides, "Not only does this donut need more, it needs an unspeakable level of more."

A coworker who tried a piece summed it up best when he said, "It looks like a cereal box threw up on a donut."

I offered to test his blood sugar before and after eating a piece of the Captain Crunch option, but he declined. There is some information you really don't want to know.

I have to admit that the audacity of these donuts made me want to try a piece just to see how it tasted... and to see if my heart rate would jump 10-20 beats a second from the sugar rush.

It's been awhile since I've been this excited about not eating something. To whomever it was that brought in these abominations, thank you.



OF course, it wasn't too long before the old standard showed up, more Top Pot donuts. They look kinda plain, lame and week compared to the monstrosities above, don't you think?

2.23.11 — Ho Hum

Yes, John bought more Top Pot. For the Nth time. There was much rejoicing and speed walking to the kitchen. Me? You know the answer to that one.



And here are the sloppy seconds from some client meeting. Meetings with clients go better with lots of sugar.

And yes, I'm running out of things to say about donuts and pastries since they show up here so often.

2.11.11 — A Big Day

I've been feeling like we've been in a bit of a lull in terms of food in the office. Sure, we've had the normal stuff, but nothing big. Today, that ended.



I missed the first salvo, but caught the aftermath. I missed it because it was such a small box of donuts and was emptied by my coworkers in such a short time. There wasn't even really time for an intercom announcement. I imagine it was kind of like the Raptor feeding scene from Jurassic Park. The cow is lowered into the paddock. A murderous feeding frenzy ensues, tastefully (so to speak) obscured by some foliage. A couple minutes later, the tattered sling is removed. This box was the sling, complete with the messy "leavings."



There were several big meetings going on and they all seemed to have food. One must have had some heavy hitters in it because they got the Specialties' catering. There were 2 box lunches left over. Specialties knows what they are doing, in terms of flavor. Their sandwiches are very tasty as are their cookies. However, as we all know by now, taste isn't everything. These are also so loaded in calories that if I were to actually have one, I might not be able to eat for the rest of the day. You know, high taste doesn't always have to mean high calories. Specialties, I'm looking at you... and not eating your food.

And then...



Yes. Chicken from Ezelle's. Again. This time though, the agency at large didn't have to wait for the monthly managment meeting to end before they were let loose on the greasy scraps. We had a full agency meeting and the snacks were fried chicken, rolls, coleslaw and something that looked like potato salad.



I've described previously how I feel about that substance. I'm feeling queasy just thinking about it.

Here are some nice rolls to cleanse the mental palate...

12.3.10 — I'm gone for a couple days...

I was out sick a couple days this week. After staying home and resting up, I made it into work this fine Friday to be greeted by what else than more Top Pot donuts.

Is anyone else here just done with the whole donut thing? Isn't it time for the fad to fade and these sugar and fat-laden bombs to be relegated back to the 24-hour coffee shop and the creatures who inhabit them?

And then...



Time for the monthly manager's meeting. Apparently, these meetings are so fun that the only way to lure everyone there is to dangle fried chicken, mashed potatoes, potato salad, rolls and gravy under their noses. When it all came in (from Ezell's again), I walked past the meeting room and got a face full of the smell. It honestly made me a bit queasy. The overwhelming aroma of fried food smothered in grease just about turned me off lunch altogether. If I went off my diet today and was open for food business, I'm not sure I could actually jump into the chicken and fixin's full force. None of it is appetizing anymore.

Bleh.

And just to top it off...



Cookies from Trader Joe's, called Joe Joes. 4 flavors: Double Chocolate, Peppermint, Peanut Butter and Ginger. The Peppermint and Peanut Butter were gone in minutes. Surprisingly, the Double Chocolate are lasting the longest. Each cookie is about a half inch tall and a couple inches across. 130 calories per cookie. A couple people have had one of each. 4 cookies have more calories more than the majority of my meals. One and a half cookies equals about 20 ounces — that's 1.25 pounds of diced watermelon and pineapple (I know this because I've been eating that for my evening snack). Is it any wonder how calories can sneak up on you if you aren't tracking them? Today alone between the donuts, fried chicken and now these cookies, I could have added a cool 2,000 calories minimum to my daily total. That's kind of crazy, and that's how you get to 400+ pounds my friends.

11.9.10 — Sigh (and Candy)

Top Pot. Again. For like the billionth time.

Is this what waterboarding feels like? A constant, steady, unrelenting drip, drip, drip until you can't take it anymore and just give over your will to your torturer? You find yourself so helpless against the quiet barrage that you don't have a choice any longer and let the inevitable happen?

Sigh.

I chew my gum. I eat my apple. I mix my granola into my greek yogurt and take a few more drips on the forehead. The inevitable does not happen today.



More Halloween leftovers appeared in our row this afternoon. Eh. Not really even a little tempted.

11.4.10 — Post Party Donuts

The Agency had a big party last night to celebrate winning An Important Award (and rightfully so - it was a radio campaign for a pro-bono client that won the top award in a competition that had never given the award to a PSA before. It really was a big deal. I'm really not being an ass by capitalizing An Important Award).

As these things tend to go with this group, most people who went to the party are in the hurt box this morning. The organizer showed up a little while ago with 5 dozen assorted Top Pot donuts as a way to help ease the rough edges (and oh are there rough edges everywhere).

Normally, as I've pointed out before, the arrival of food in our kitchen and my coworkers' response often reminds me of a pack of starving hyenas falling on a wounded wildebeest on the Serengeti. After this morning's display, I need a new analogy.

Good Christ. 2 dozen were gone in minutes. Minutes.

Maybe piranha cleaning a cow's carcass down to the bone. Or, swarming South American army ants cutting a swath through an unsuspecting village. Or I can go with accuracy - a group of seriously hungover office workers who are desperate for sugar and grease, and haven't made the trek over to McDonalds yet. Yeah, that works.

To make things worse, I was very hungry myself this morning. The smell of all that sugar, grease and quiet desperation was hard to resist.



I do love a good aftermath shot. By the end of the day, there were 4 or 5 donuts left, out of 60.



Mid-afternoon, these showed up. That's right, the leftover Cupcake Royale cupcakes from last night's party. There were close to 30. I almost gained a pound by accidentally breathing near the cloud of sugar haze hovering over the kitchen table. Between the donuts and cupcakes, the aroma was powerful enough that I could smell it back at my desk.

9.24.10 — Mexican Stuff and Donuts

Good Lord, those things smelled horrible. They are deep fried chunks of crack that people around here love. Someplace up in the Pike Place Market sells them — I don't get the attraction. Maybe it's one of those places that sells deep fried everything, you know, like candy bars or Twinkees, etc. I think these must be the deep fried ass nuggets.



One of our international partners sent us a package with all this stuff in it. No one could figure out what it was until someone suggested it might be for flavoring coffee or espresso. Okay. Or, as a couple people tried, it's all just slabs of goo to cut a piece off of and go to town on. No thanks.



Looks like pressed brown sugar. Hack me off a chunk... not.

9.3.10 — Again with the Top Pot

I swear someone here must own stock at Top Pot Donuts. It's crazy how often a couple dozen show up in the kitchen. I sit about 30 or 40 feet away and am getting a sugar high just from the smell of them alone. My greek yogurt with flax seed granola just isn't stacking up.



I've said it before and I'll say it again: I LOVE THE FRITTERS. The friter is the odd ball of the donut world... not a traditional circle-with-a-hole, not quite bread. Kind of an old fashioned style donut that mated with a lump of apple-infused dough. This horrible union has produced what might just be, to my taste buds anyway, the perfect baked good.

And yet I resist.

Total weight loss: 186.5

8.5.10 — Status Donuts

One of the account people brought a plate of donuts to our status meeting this morning. They were sitting right in front of my normal chair (yes, I need to sit in the same spot each time — it's a thing). They were big, fluffy and probably filled with tasty stuff. Not really all that appealing, to be honest.

Current weight loss = 176

8.2.10 — Aimee's Leftover Top Pot, Cherries & More Leftovers

My coworker Aimee moved this weekend and bought some Top Pot donuts and cookies for her moving crew. They didn't finish them, so we're the beneficiaries. They were sitting about 5 feet away from my desk, mocking me.

I guess I could have technically had some of these cherries. They were left in the kitchen this morning. I imagine they came from someone's personal cherry tree, or something like that. I didn't eat any, mostly because I really don't like cherries. On the blog they go.

A three-for today. The meager, well picked-over hand-me-downs from a client meeting. One Specialties cookie, 3 bags of chips and a box of lettuce with equal parts croutons and ranch-like dressing. Yum.

Current weight loss = 176

7.21.10 — Cookies & Top Pot Donuts

One of our clients sent over a couple baskets of huge cookies in the shapes of kittens, dogs and bunnies (based on TV commercials our agency is currently creating for the client). It's nice to see a happy client and it's always nice when the agency gets some tangible appreciation, but I almost couldn't imagine trying to eat one of those cookies. I'm sure they were easily half my daily calories (or more), each.

And then, someone plopped down two dozen Top Pot donuts. I love donuts. Really. Especially maple bars, any sort of old fashioned donuts, the chocolate frosted chocolate cake ones. All of them actually. Oh, and apple fritters. Man I could get knee deep in an apple fritter. Sigh.

Current weight loss = 173