3.17 - Gigantic Pastries

Yes, another meeting and yes, more pastries. However, these were freakin' gigantor pastries. The one at the top of the photo was so big, no one would dare cut into it. My coworker N said that no one would eat something as big as their head. And it was... as big as your head.

No pastry has any business being that big.

It was the last one on the platter, untouched for quite awhile. It was gone later, but I don't know if it finally went under the knife or if it gained consciousness and walked off on its own.

3.9 — What is Going On?

Is today some sort of Bring Food to Work Day or something? After stretches of time lately with nothing showing up in our end of the building, all the sudden we're being deluged by snacks and free food.

This was a collection of pastries brought in by a freelance photographer who was here to show off his portfolio. The pastries were made by the guy's wife, who just happens to be a pastry chef.

I didn't dare touch any of this stuff, but stood there while others took bites of this and that and proceeded to have near-religious and/or full-body experiences because what they were tasting was so good. I had to leave because I actually started to waver a bit. I immediately went back to my desk and ate an apple. And then I ate another one, just to be safe.

2.23.11 — Ho Hum

Yes, John bought more Top Pot. For the Nth time. There was much rejoicing and speed walking to the kitchen. Me? You know the answer to that one.



And here are the sloppy seconds from some client meeting. Meetings with clients go better with lots of sugar.

And yes, I'm running out of things to say about donuts and pastries since they show up here so often.

1.25.11 — Sweet and Savory Calories

We get photographer reps in every once in awhile to show off portfolios in hopes that we'll hire from their talent pool. Since the reps are trying to impress, they also tend to bring the higher quality snackage. These were some gourmet tasties — the box on the left had the sweets and the box on the left had the savory.

The sweet stuff was quite literally slathered in glaze and sugar. It may not show in the photo very well, but all of them glistened with a high sheen and looked permanently sticky — not something I tend to look for in my snacks. The other side looked a lot less messy, but I was unsure about the hints of sliced meat sticking out of the tightly rolled bread. I'm sure it was all heavenly.

Oh, and the Emmys in the background? We don't screw around at this agency, my friends. We win shit.

1.19.11 — Missed It

Wow. These bad boys disappeared faster than I was able to run back to my desk to retrieve my iPhone for the photo. I guess mini cinnamon rolls fit into the agency's pleasure zone more than any other culinary treat. I saw them going fast and had thought to say, "Don't finish them until I get back." I figured there would be something left over. Two minutes later, all that's left is what you see... crumbs and abandoned resolutions.

1.7.11 — Meeting? Pastries.

What is it about meetings that they require food in order to happen? Is there a Grand Unification Theory of Meetings that requires a certain tonnage of empty calories before the higher brain functions of the meeting attendees can operate efficiently? And if so, is this a scientific Theory and therefore subject to the immediate and irrational disbelief by the Discovery Institute, soon to be followed by their competing explanation of Intelligent Meeting Design which states that meeting snacks could only come into existence by the influence of some higher, fatter power?

Yeah, that has to be it.

8.6.10 — Mystery Danishes

Like so many of the food items that make their way into out kitchen, this box of danishes just kind of magically appeared. Client meeting leftovers? Someone who is trying to be nice to us, like a vendor looking for work? A coworker who had an itch for a danish on the way to work and decided to buy not-quite-enough for the rest of the office? Or perhaps we have pastry elves who want us to be good and fat when they come bursting out of the ceiling to attack, subdue and then eat us live? Fucking elves. The knife is a dead giveaway.

Current weight loss = 176